How To Transform Your Relationship With Money

Relationships Wit MoneyMoney, like health, is a language of its own. On the one hand, the energy that manifests as wealth or health is truly unlimited. On the other hand, you need to create a consciousness and a physical structure (accounting, checkbooks, bank accounts) to be able to receive it, use it, and circulate it wisely.

You have to acknowledge that money is important. Though money cannot buy the things that are most precious in life—loving relationships, beautiful weather, or the laughter of an adorable child—the fact remains that money touches every part of our lives. Most of the time, money is associated with worry and stress, regardless of how much or how little you have.

The subject of money can be so stressful, in fact, that it can put your health and your relationships at risk. I have had clients who have had control issues around money that were so strong that it hurt their marriage and in some instances is caused them to get sick.

When it comes to money you cannot afford to let your spouse, or anyone else, assume all the responsibility for your important financial decisions. This issue is so important that financial expert and author Suze Orman only agrees to meet with couples if both members are present and contributing to all financial decisions.

When one member of a couple makes all the financial decisions, it puts the other member at risk. And it may also lead to “acting out.” This is one of the main reasons why one member of a couple may overspend or run up credit card debt that she (or sometimes he) hides from the other spouse.
There’s a myth I’d like to shatter right now. Men are not necessarily better at handling money than women. In fact, one of my financial advisors told me that women often make better investment decisions than men because they are more willing to admit that they’ve made a mistake and thus change course.

Face your fears and beliefs and have the courage to update them. Years ago, I heard Joe Dominguez, co-author of the book Your Money or Your Life, describe that we’re socialized to reveal just about every other aspect of our lives except the truth about our finances. And like all secrets, those things that we hide or are ashamed of have a way of leaking away our energy and thus setting the stage for ill health.

Another fact of life is that we inherit our financial beliefs from our parents and grandparents who hand them down to us like heirlooms. And these beliefs, and the behaviors that go along with them, are often crippling and limiting. An example of this would be keeping your money in a savings account at a very low-interest rate rather than “risk” a money market fund or other investment where we could earn higher interest rates.

Take a moment right now and see if you can recall your first memory about money or a “money story” that was handed down to you from your parents. How has this story influenced your relationship with money? I often find that many of my female clients have limiting beliefs that they are not very good at managing money and that their husband is far more skilled. Therefore, they are happy to let their husband handle that area of their life.

A client told me that when she was a teenager, she got a job and began to earn her own money. She would often spend money on things that she wanted and her parents would really give her a hard time. They would tell her how hard they worked for their money and she had no understanding of what things cost.

Her parents traumatized her so much about spending her money that she began to believe that she didn’t deserve to have nice things. She became afraid of being materialistic. When she would buy something nice for herself, she would give it away.

After several consultations, we were able to bring this and related memories to her consciousness. My client soon began to transform her relationship with money. Not surprisingly, her sense of self-worth also improved. She started to invest in her own retirement and to buy some of the things she desired. She has also became far better about actually accepting gifts from others rather than always being the one to give.

It’s important to educate yourself about the basics of money. You need to always stay up to speed on your finances. If you are suddenly put in a difficult situation such as a divorce or the loss of a loved don’t jump into tackling the finances right away. It’s best to give yourself at least a few months before making any major financial decisions because the emotional upheaval can cloud your judgment.

Our thoughts have the peculiar habit of manifesting themselves into their physical equivalents. This means that if we continually think thoughts of poverty and are motivated by fear, then poverty will be our experience. But if we have a burning desire to be successful and are willing to give something back to the world in order to accomplish it, then we can achieve our dreams.

The emotion of desire is very powerful and it can be transmuted into its financial equivalent. The Law of Attraction that states that we attract those things that match our vibration on all levels: emotional, mental, spiritual. The universe will take care of the details and supply the people, places, and means by which you can achieve your intention.

When it comes to attracting money your mindset is crucial. You have to learn to see yourself as a “business” rather than just an “employee.” So many people live paycheck to paycheck which causes so much anxiety and stress. To remedy this, you stop working for money and instead create cash flow or passive income through investing in our own businesses or those of others.

I love this quote from Robert Kiyosaki, the author of “Rich Dad, Poor Dad.” He said, “One of the best times to lay the groundwork for wealth is during a recession.” I am far less worried about the current economy than I would have been if I had not learned this. And as a result, my stress hormone levels are much lower.

Nothing is more empowering than getting control over your spending, your money beliefs, and your cash flow. And nothing is more thrilling than seeing your bank account grow as a result of these changes. Anyone can take the same steps to achieve peace of mind and better financial and physical health. The first step is simply knowing you can do it!

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